Stillbirth, still the taboo subject

In the UK, every day, 10  babies will be born sleeping and 1 in 6 women will suffer a miscarriage. Why is it in then in this day and age that we still find talking about miscarriage and stillbirth a taboo subject? 

On August 19th 1999, I gave birth to my sleeping son Jack Luke at 19 weeks gestation after my waters had gone 2 days previously and yet to this day I have never shown his picture to anyone other than family members… On social media you see pictures of babies or children, smiling faces and yet if I dared to put a photo of my son up, I would get reported because it would upset someone.

Even now I hear people say about miscarriages “Well it was only a bunch of cells”. To you maybe it was, but to the mother carrying her baby, those bunch of cells represent hopes and dreams of something that will never be… From the moment you’re told you’re pregnant, your mind goes into overdrive and starts romanticising about things… If its a boy he can play football with daddy.. If its a girl I can dress her up in frilly dresses or we can get our nails painted together and when she’s older we can go shopping… When this is taken away from you, it is such a wrench and a heartbreak….

Other things I hear are “Well it wasn’t meant to be” or “It’s gods way of saying there was something wrong with your baby”… Sometimes these are said with good intentions, but sometimes your good intentions can send someone over the edge…

When Jack was born, the midwife gave us a blanket to wrap him in and she said that Jack could keep that in his coffin as his skin was too thin for me to be able to dress him. I didn’t want him going into his coffin without anything on him as I didn’t want him to be cold… Some may find that strange as I knew he was dead, but as his mummy I wanted to protect him as much as possible…. 

So this weekend I thought about ways I could help other mummies and daddies going through this and so I made an Angel Snug using crochet for babies that are born sleeping…

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This Angel snug is for babies up to approximately 22 weeks. I will be making some more over the coming months and then donating them to my local labour ward once completed….

If you would like to make one then you can follow the pattern from “Mamma that makes”  http://mammathatmakes.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/basic-button-up-burial-cocoon-free.html

https://www.facebook.com/groups/187990577978245/   SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Deaths) Unofficial group

https://www.tommys.org/our-organisation/why-we-exist/stillbirth-statistics

https://www.tommys.org/our-organisation/why-we-exist/miscarriage-statistics

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