Who are Younique and what are they about?

Younique are a family. It’s not just about selling a product it’s about empowering women to be whoever they want to be..

Younique was started by Derek Maxfield and Melanie Huscroft, a brother-and-sister team, in September 2012 with a mission to uplift, empower, and validate women across the globe. Derek and Melanie firmly believe that all women should feel valued, smart, and empowered through opportunities for personal growth and financial reward!

Younique founded Younique Foundation in 2014, to help bring healing to victims of childhood sexual abuse and raises awareness to prevent sexual abuse. Did you know that 1 in 4 women will be sexually abused before age 18. 60% of these women will never talk about it. 90% of these women know their abusers.

The Younique foundation owns the Haven Retreat where women survivors of childhood sexual abuse can go for FREE (you just have to pay for your travel)  and where they learn about:

Education – Understanding trauma and the impact of abuse provides a necessary foundation to apply healing tools and strategies.

Acceptance – That all women are worthy of living their best lives and all survivors deserve to be free from the pain of sexual abuse.

Community –  No one understands the healing journey as well as another survivor. The Haven is in a beautiful mountain environment where you can disconnect from day-to-day life and build a support community of other survivors.

Younique Foundation

The Younique foundation builds on survivors of sexual abuse reclaiming hope.

When you buy from me, you’re not only getting an amazing product, but you’re helping women survivors of childhood sexual abuse and as a survivor I thank you from the bottom of my heart x

http://www.facebook.com/melsbalmyarmy

http://www.melsbalmyarmy.com

Aidan’s Activity Fund 

Please help support this fabulous cause….

https://localgiving.org/fundraising/imogenandalice/

We plan to complete the Rough Runner course on Sunday the 9th April 2017 for Aidan’s Activity Fund. We would greatly appreciate all the support we can get, this is a charity very close to our hearts. This course is 5km long and made up of many obstacles, testing teamwork, strength, stamina and will power!

Alice: I am excited and nervous to be taking on this challenge! I am a full time student mental health nurse; finding time to train and build my strength for this has been difficult. I have recently been diagnosed with a condition called endometriosis this can be crippling, battling this will be a huge achievement. Having spent plenty of time in hospitals myself, I understand how important a distraction can be, not only does it cure boredom but it also relieves any anxieties. It is going to be a huge achievement for myself.

Imogen: Having visited friends or family in hospital, I’ve noticed there isn’t an awful lot for kids to occupy themselves whilst waiting to be seen. I understand the need for this charity as it will make hospitals less daunting for young patients and keep them occupied. This is going to be a challenge for me as I haven’t ran since school! Can’t wait to complete this course with one of my bestest friends.

Aidan’s Activity Fund has been created in memory of a sweet 11 year old boy, who sadly passed away with Leukemia. During Aidan’s time on the Children’s wards, all he ever complained about was being bored. The Nurses and Play Staff would bring in activities from home; that they had paid for themselves for all the children to enjoy whilst they were staying there. The funds aim is to ensure that no child is ever bored again on the Children’s Wards at Queen Alexandra Hospital, Portsmouth. 

So far Aidan’s Activity Fund have donated; activity packs, Ipads, DVD’s and DVD players, games plus much more. Alongside all these donations, a Teenagers Room is being built. 

To find out more please visit: https://www.facebook.com/aidansactivityfund/

Bullying

To see me now I look like a confident 45 year old woman right? That confidence is attributed to the one person in my life that supports me and allows me to be me and above all else, makes sure that no one will ever hurt me again, my husband..

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You see I wasn’t always this happy, confident woman…. I used to be scared and bullied and allowed people to hurt and humiliate me….

My first memory of being bullied and humiliated  was not by another child, but by my teacher at primary school. As a young child I would often wet the bed, something so very common. In the United states alone between 5-7 million children wet the bed every night  Bed wetting

In our last year of primary school we were able to go on a camping trip. During this camping trip, if your tent was untidy then to let everyone else know and to shame you, a rubbish bin was put outside your tent! Because I wet the bed every night, our tent constantly had the bin outside and I was laughed at and pointed at by other children who knew no better because the teacher, an adult, was allowing them to do this. Bed wetting isn’t something to be ashamed of and children shouldn’t be made to feel humiliated by this.

In secondary school the bullying only got worse. To hide my bullying I behaved like the school joker and became so disruptive that I would get moved from my class and it worked, however I went from the frying pan into the fire. I have always been small and at the age of 12 I was still only about 4 stone. This seemed to give the bullies a free for all with me.

The bullies would either stop me getting off of the bus so I would end up the other side of town and have to walk home in the rain for 3-4 miles or they would sit next to me punching and kicking me, so I stopped getting the bus and started walking 2 1/2 miles home . The bullies however figured out my route home and jumped me on the way home kicking and punching me to the ground.

Another incident saw me cornered in the girls toilets by 6 girls telling me if I didn’t punch another girl who was one of their friends, then they would punch me… I didn’t hit the girl so instead I got punched by all the girls as they left the toilets…

For a few weeks the bullying stopped and they actually became my friends, but what I didn’t know was this was a rouse. One night, one of the bullies had arranged to come to home with me and we would meet their friend later on… I was ashamed of where I lived as I grew up with my dad who was a lot older than everyone else’s dad and we didn’t have much money so it took a lot for me to let anyone come to my home… Later on when we had met up with the friend and her boyfriend we were walking down a path laughing when out of nowhere, the one who had come home with me punched me in the head so hard, knocking me off my feet and sending me flying down a hill. They both came down the hill reigning blows on me and kicking me while I curled into a ball crying and pleading with them to stop. They eventually stopped and ran off laughing… I cried all the way home, hoping that they would not find me again…. I didn’t tell anyone and tried to get the day off school the next day pretending I was ill, but my dad made me go to school where people laughed at me because they knew what had happened.

Another incident was when a friend of mine was being bullied in the classroom at lunchtime so I stepped in to help her. The bullies then turned on me. In front of about 20 other girls who were cheering the bully on, one held me down while the bully hit me over the head  15 times with the school atlas, which in the 80’s was a huge hardback book. My friend that I had saved from being attacked, now became one of my tormentors and started cheering the bully on. Their reason for doing this is because they thought I had called them a ‘Slag’ which is what they  and their ‘friends’ told the headmistress. Rather than punish the bully for assault, because that is what it was, I was punished for being mouthy and using bad language.

Out of school I really only had one friend who was the year older than me and so I spent most of my time indoors on my own as my dad was mostly at the pub.. I did have a boyfriend who later became my ex husband from the age of 14/15, but I didn’t really open up to him about what was happening. I had no support network as I lived with my dad and didn’t have a relationship with the absent parent or my family. So I just swept it under the rug and didn’t tell anyone what was happening… I would spend hours on the CB radio making new friends because on there I could be who I wanted to be and no-one knew who ‘Mad Mel’ was unless I gave information away… I would often talk to a kind lady on there who was housebound and who tried to get me to tell my dad, school or police, but I never did because it would only make it worse…

Nights were spent crying myself to sleep because I didn’t want to be here anymore and I didn’t want to go to school again… I would tell my dad I was poorly and would say that I would tidy the house if he let me have the day off school… I missed so many days that eventually the education officer came round and I promised to go back to school… Going back to school meant more beatings, being harassed and heckled at. Having my hair pulled, being spat at on the bus, tripped over in the hallway, being slammed into the wall by girls walking past in the hallway,  who got their friends to ‘accidentally’ push into you while laughing their heads off… I had so many bruises and yet no-one ever noticed….

So when it was time to leave school I wanted to stay on and go into 6th form, but some of my tormentors did that so I left school with nothing…

I am not writing this blog entry for you to feel sorry for me, I don’t want your pity,  I want you to think twice before you say something to someone that might push them over the edge… You never know what torture someone is going through, so rather than say things to them that you might find funny, try and be nice to them! This is why I get so passionate about people being nasty to others because of the way I was treated growing up… It’s only since I have been with my husband Shane that I have truly felt able to have confidence about who I am and not allow myself to be victimised by anyone anymore.. For 38 years I allowed myself to be bullied and controlled in one way or another! Even now I still find it hard to make friends and the only person I will truly be open and honest with is my husband because so many people before him have used what I have told them against me…

Calling someone a name, just because you think it is funny, is BULLYING!

Sitting in the classroom laughing and whispering about someone else in the classroom is BULLYING!

Laughing at someone because of their sexual orientation, Gender, Race, Religion is BULLYING!

If you have children make sure they have the support and facilities to be open about what is happening to them and if your child is the bully, make sure they know that behaviour is not right! Make your children aware that bullying is wrong and what the consequences to not only them, but also their victims lives will be!

Stillbirth, still the taboo subject

In the UK, every day, 10  babies will be born sleeping and 1 in 6 women will suffer a miscarriage. Why is it in then in this day and age that we still find talking about miscarriage and stillbirth a taboo subject? 

On August 19th 1999, I gave birth to my sleeping son Jack Luke at 19 weeks gestation after my waters had gone 2 days previously and yet to this day I have never shown his picture to anyone other than family members… On social media you see pictures of babies or children, smiling faces and yet if I dared to put a photo of my son up, I would get reported because it would upset someone.

Even now I hear people say about miscarriages “Well it was only a bunch of cells”. To you maybe it was, but to the mother carrying her baby, those bunch of cells represent hopes and dreams of something that will never be… From the moment you’re told you’re pregnant, your mind goes into overdrive and starts romanticising about things… If its a boy he can play football with daddy.. If its a girl I can dress her up in frilly dresses or we can get our nails painted together and when she’s older we can go shopping… When this is taken away from you, it is such a wrench and a heartbreak….

Other things I hear are “Well it wasn’t meant to be” or “It’s gods way of saying there was something wrong with your baby”… Sometimes these are said with good intentions, but sometimes your good intentions can send someone over the edge…

When Jack was born, the midwife gave us a blanket to wrap him in and she said that Jack could keep that in his coffin as his skin was too thin for me to be able to dress him. I didn’t want him going into his coffin without anything on him as I didn’t want him to be cold… Some may find that strange as I knew he was dead, but as his mummy I wanted to protect him as much as possible…. 

So this weekend I thought about ways I could help other mummies and daddies going through this and so I made an Angel Snug using crochet for babies that are born sleeping…

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This Angel snug is for babies up to approximately 22 weeks. I will be making some more over the coming months and then donating them to my local labour ward once completed….

If you would like to make one then you can follow the pattern from “Mamma that makes”  http://mammathatmakes.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/basic-button-up-burial-cocoon-free.html

https://www.facebook.com/groups/187990577978245/   SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Deaths) Unofficial group

https://www.tommys.org/our-organisation/why-we-exist/stillbirth-statistics

https://www.tommys.org/our-organisation/why-we-exist/miscarriage-statistics

What a load of rubbish! 

So it’s a procrastination morning again and while.flicking through Facebook as you usually do when you’re supposed to be doing something else and I found this video 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1249561781733163&id=158552314167454
So do you think it could be implemented here or would there be an outcry of primary and secondary school kids being used as skivvies! 

Days are speeding along like a steam train

I’m sure it was only Christmas eve when I opened my eyes and yet today is 4 days later! No sooner have I got up, then it’s bedtime again… Slow down days…. I know you’re in a rush to finish this new year, however I would like to get into this new year looking a lot less windswept! Mind you the windswept look might help me with my wrinkles!

I am still off university until a week tomorrow, when as as Mental Health student nurse, I start my first placement. I am so excited I can hardly breathe. I’ve always wanted to be a nurse, but things in life always got in the way. Things happened and I could never fulfill my dream until now.

Don’t think for one minute I have it easy. Living with my Lupus makes days very hard sometimes with the pain, but I manage because I have a dream that i’m focusing on and I WILL achieve that dream.

One of the major obstacles of being a student is my husband’s career of being in the army. When we met, I always said I would support him in whatever he does and I still do because sadly in our relationship the Queen and the army come before I do, so to love my husband means to support him in whatever happens in his career. Our life is also uncertain at times, but we make the best of it and we have a lot more than most, especially at the moment, when the North of England is flooding and so many are losing everything they ever had in this world.

I am so lucky that my husband opted to move to this posting we are at currently so that I could go to Bournemouth University. I just need this steam train of a life to slow down now so that I can enjoy each day rather than it just keep going past me. I have spent so many years thinking that I was poor and I spent so many years having nothing, when in reality I have everything. I have children, a husband that adores me and 2 crazy dogs. What more could I want?

So before this train stops, i’ll take this opportunity to not say goodnight, but godbless like my nan used to say.