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In the UK, every day, 10 babies will be born sleeping and 1 in 6 women will suffer a miscarriage. Why is it in then in this day and age that we still find talking about miscarriage and stillbirth a taboo subject?
On August 19th 1999, I gave birth to my sleeping son Jack Luke at 19 weeks gestation after my waters had gone 2 days previously and yet to this day I have never shown his picture to anyone other than family members… On social media you see pictures of babies or children, smiling faces and yet if I dared to put a photo of my son up, I would get reported because it would upset someone.
Even now I hear people say about miscarriages “Well it was only a bunch of cells”. To you maybe it was, but to the mother carrying her baby, those bunch of cells represent hopes and dreams of something that will never be… From the moment you’re told you’re pregnant, your mind goes into overdrive and starts romanticising about things… If its a boy he can play football with daddy.. If its a girl I can dress her up in frilly dresses or we can get our nails painted together and when she’s older we can go shopping… When this is taken away from you, it is such a wrench and a heartbreak….
Other things I hear are “Well it wasn’t meant to be” or “It’s gods way of saying there was something wrong with your baby”… Sometimes these are said with good intentions, but sometimes your good intentions can send someone over the edge…
When Jack was born, the midwife gave us a blanket to wrap him in and she said that Jack could keep that in his coffin as his skin was too thin for me to be able to dress him. I didn’t want him going into his coffin without anything on him as I didn’t want him to be cold… Some may find that strange as I knew he was dead, but as his mummy I wanted to protect him as much as possible….
So this weekend I thought about ways I could help other mummies and daddies going through this and so I made an Angel Snug using crochet for babies that are born sleeping…
This Angel snug is for babies up to approximately 22 weeks. I will be making some more over the coming months and then donating them to my local labour ward once completed….
If you would like to make one then you can follow the pattern from “Mamma that makes” http://mammathatmakes.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/basic-button-up-burial-cocoon-free.html
https://www.facebook.com/groups/187990577978245/ SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Deaths) Unofficial group
I’m sure it was only Christmas eve when I opened my eyes and yet today is 4 days later! No sooner have I got up, then it’s bedtime again… Slow down days…. I know you’re in a rush to finish this new year, however I would like to get into this new year looking a lot less windswept! Mind you the windswept look might help me with my wrinkles!
I am still off university until a week tomorrow, when as as Mental Health student nurse, I start my first placement. I am so excited I can hardly breathe. I’ve always wanted to be a nurse, but things in life always got in the way. Things happened and I could never fulfill my dream until now.
Don’t think for one minute I have it easy. Living with my Lupus makes days very hard sometimes with the pain, but I manage because I have a dream that i’m focusing on and I WILL achieve that dream.
One of the major obstacles of being a student is my husband’s career of being in the army. When we met, I always said I would support him in whatever he does and I still do because sadly in our relationship the Queen and the army come before I do, so to love my husband means to support him in whatever happens in his career. Our life is also uncertain at times, but we make the best of it and we have a lot more than most, especially at the moment, when the North of England is flooding and so many are losing everything they ever had in this world.
I am so lucky that my husband opted to move to this posting we are at currently so that I could go to Bournemouth University. I just need this steam train of a life to slow down now so that I can enjoy each day rather than it just keep going past me. I have spent so many years thinking that I was poor and I spent so many years having nothing, when in reality I have everything. I have children, a husband that adores me and 2 crazy dogs. What more could I want?
So before this train stops, i’ll take this opportunity to not say goodnight, but godbless like my nan used to say.