Humans best friend

While I am trying to do my literature review I have a companion 🙂 Ted the tedaliscious 🙂
#dogsofinstagram #studentmentalhealthnurse #studentnurse #literaturereview #uni #lifeofastudentnurse #study 

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Military Vs civvy friends 


CIVVY FRIENDS: Get upset if you’re too busy to talk to them for a week

MILITARY FRIENDS: Are glad to see you after years, and will happily carry on the same conversation you were having last time you met…

CIVVY FRIENDS: Never ask for food

MILITARY FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

CIVVY FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Call your parents mum and dad.

CIVVY FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, Bollocks…we fu*ked 

Up…but that was fun!”

CIVVY FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Cry with you.

CIVVY FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.

CIVVY FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from You.

CIVVY FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that’s what the crowd is doing.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

CIVVY FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, “I’m home!”

CIVVY FRIENDS: Are for a while.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Are for life.

CIVVY FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, “Mate, you better drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.That’s alcohol Abuse!!”

CIVVY FRIENDS: Will talk sh!t to the person who talks sh!t about you.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Will knock them out!!

CIVVY FRIENDS: Will ignore this.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Will tell others about this

Bullying

To see me now I look like a confident 45 year old woman right? That confidence is attributed to the one person in my life that supports me and allows me to be me and above all else, makes sure that no one will ever hurt me again, my husband..

us-1

You see I wasn’t always this happy, confident woman…. I used to be scared and bullied and allowed people to hurt and humiliate me….

My first memory of being bullied and humiliated  was not by another child, but by my teacher at primary school. As a young child I would often wet the bed, something so very common. In the United states alone between 5-7 million children wet the bed every night  Bed wetting

In our last year of primary school we were able to go on a camping trip. During this camping trip, if your tent was untidy then to let everyone else know and to shame you, a rubbish bin was put outside your tent! Because I wet the bed every night, our tent constantly had the bin outside and I was laughed at and pointed at by other children who knew no better because the teacher, an adult, was allowing them to do this. Bed wetting isn’t something to be ashamed of and children shouldn’t be made to feel humiliated by this.

In secondary school the bullying only got worse. To hide my bullying I behaved like the school joker and became so disruptive that I would get moved from my class and it worked, however I went from the frying pan into the fire. I have always been small and at the age of 12 I was still only about 4 stone. This seemed to give the bullies a free for all with me.

The bullies would either stop me getting off of the bus so I would end up the other side of town and have to walk home in the rain for 3-4 miles or they would sit next to me punching and kicking me, so I stopped getting the bus and started walking 2 1/2 miles home . The bullies however figured out my route home and jumped me on the way home kicking and punching me to the ground.

Another incident saw me cornered in the girls toilets by 6 girls telling me if I didn’t punch another girl who was one of their friends, then they would punch me… I didn’t hit the girl so instead I got punched by all the girls as they left the toilets…

For a few weeks the bullying stopped and they actually became my friends, but what I didn’t know was this was a rouse. One night, one of the bullies had arranged to come to home with me and we would meet their friend later on… I was ashamed of where I lived as I grew up with my dad who was a lot older than everyone else’s dad and we didn’t have much money so it took a lot for me to let anyone come to my home… Later on when we had met up with the friend and her boyfriend we were walking down a path laughing when out of nowhere, the one who had come home with me punched me in the head so hard, knocking me off my feet and sending me flying down a hill. They both came down the hill reigning blows on me and kicking me while I curled into a ball crying and pleading with them to stop. They eventually stopped and ran off laughing… I cried all the way home, hoping that they would not find me again…. I didn’t tell anyone and tried to get the day off school the next day pretending I was ill, but my dad made me go to school where people laughed at me because they knew what had happened.

Another incident was when a friend of mine was being bullied in the classroom at lunchtime so I stepped in to help her. The bullies then turned on me. In front of about 20 other girls who were cheering the bully on, one held me down while the bully hit me over the head  15 times with the school atlas, which in the 80’s was a huge hardback book. My friend that I had saved from being attacked, now became one of my tormentors and started cheering the bully on. Their reason for doing this is because they thought I had called them a ‘Slag’ which is what they  and their ‘friends’ told the headmistress. Rather than punish the bully for assault, because that is what it was, I was punished for being mouthy and using bad language.

Out of school I really only had one friend who was the year older than me and so I spent most of my time indoors on my own as my dad was mostly at the pub.. I did have a boyfriend who later became my ex husband from the age of 14/15, but I didn’t really open up to him about what was happening. I had no support network as I lived with my dad and didn’t have a relationship with the absent parent or my family. So I just swept it under the rug and didn’t tell anyone what was happening… I would spend hours on the CB radio making new friends because on there I could be who I wanted to be and no-one knew who ‘Mad Mel’ was unless I gave information away… I would often talk to a kind lady on there who was housebound and who tried to get me to tell my dad, school or police, but I never did because it would only make it worse…

Nights were spent crying myself to sleep because I didn’t want to be here anymore and I didn’t want to go to school again… I would tell my dad I was poorly and would say that I would tidy the house if he let me have the day off school… I missed so many days that eventually the education officer came round and I promised to go back to school… Going back to school meant more beatings, being harassed and heckled at. Having my hair pulled, being spat at on the bus, tripped over in the hallway, being slammed into the wall by girls walking past in the hallway,  who got their friends to ‘accidentally’ push into you while laughing their heads off… I had so many bruises and yet no-one ever noticed….

So when it was time to leave school I wanted to stay on and go into 6th form, but some of my tormentors did that so I left school with nothing…

I am not writing this blog entry for you to feel sorry for me, I don’t want your pity,  I want you to think twice before you say something to someone that might push them over the edge… You never know what torture someone is going through, so rather than say things to them that you might find funny, try and be nice to them! This is why I get so passionate about people being nasty to others because of the way I was treated growing up… It’s only since I have been with my husband Shane that I have truly felt able to have confidence about who I am and not allow myself to be victimised by anyone anymore.. For 38 years I allowed myself to be bullied and controlled in one way or another! Even now I still find it hard to make friends and the only person I will truly be open and honest with is my husband because so many people before him have used what I have told them against me…

Calling someone a name, just because you think it is funny, is BULLYING!

Sitting in the classroom laughing and whispering about someone else in the classroom is BULLYING!

Laughing at someone because of their sexual orientation, Gender, Race, Religion is BULLYING!

If you have children make sure they have the support and facilities to be open about what is happening to them and if your child is the bully, make sure they know that behaviour is not right! Make your children aware that bullying is wrong and what the consequences to not only them, but also their victims lives will be!

End of the ‘White Helmets’ the Royal Signals Motorcycle Display Team

So by now, most people would have seen the announcement from the Royal Corps of Signals regarding the disbandment of the ‘White Helmets’ the Royal Signals Motorcycle Display Team

“We can confirm that after 90 years entertaining and thrilling crowds with their dazzling arena displays the iconic ‘White Helmets’ the Royal Signals Motorcycle Display Team’s forthcoming season will be its last.
The Royal Signals has come a very long way since those formative days using motorbikes to carry messages across the battlefield and are now ‘Leaders in a Digital Age’, using cutting edge communications technology to carry out its vital work (including in Cyber capabilities) with highly trained personnel at the helm operating it.
The team, the oldest and most famous motorcycle display team in the world, has made a considerable contribution over the years to the Army’s Community Engagement activities performing spectacular feats of balance, death defying crossover rides and outstanding acrobatics to thousands of people at home and abroad. The general public will have their final chance to see the team as they tour in 2017!
Personnel employed within the team will return to their core responsibilities in the Field Army.
This decision is not financially motivated and is about modernisation.”
Announcement 

This decision has come as quite a shock especially for me as most of you know my son is one of the current team members…. So this blog entry is a post to show how proud I am, not just of my son, but also the whole of the team who become like family to each other…. 

ben

I remember the day that my son Ben had his graduation ceremony for the white helmets… I was nervous, but also very proud….

ben-pass-out

 

Then Ben jumped through the fire. My heart was in my mouth as Ben went through and burnt all his face.

 

ben-burnt-face

To this day he still has his “Tiger” stripes on his face. A sign of bravery some would say? More like stupidity lol…

 

ben-and-rob

I said before that the team are more like family and this is because they have to learnt to trust each other. They have to know that their colleagues have their back when doing these stunts. Like this stunt where the one crouching lets the ones on the floor know that a bike is coming by using his hand to signal.

Some have said that the white helmets are just a drain and they are glad it has been canned… I would love to see these people do these stunts… Its not just about riding a motorbike round a display ground. Its about connecting with the audience and showing them that the forces isn’t just about going to war. They rehearse and train for months beforehand. They are currently on training camp as I write this and their graduation for the new white helmets is April… in between shows they are training….

wh-training-3 wh-training-2 wh-training-1

I think one of the teams defining moment was being on “Through the keyhole” with Keith lemon… Years ago Anthea Turner was sitting on the edge of a truck and the scene was a motorcycle would jump of behind here.. Infact as it did it caught her hair on fire… So they used the White Helmets as a clue….

keith-lemon-white-helmetsben-and-keith-lemon

Watching my son and his team mates do these stunts can be fun, but it is also scary and heart in mouth times for me… The thing I love the most about these displays is the children in the audience and their screams of delight as the bang on the fire happens, or when a rider jumps the car

or the screams when the white helmets play chicken with each other.

If you’re in any of the below places this year, make sure you go along and watch the last year of the White Helmets:

https://www.facebook.com/pg/White-Helmets-The-Royal-Signals-Motorcycle-Display-Team

8th April – 2017 Graduation Ceremony – Blandford
22nd April – St George’s Day Festival – Lytham St Anne
29th April – 1st May – Abbey Hill Steam Rally – Yeovil
7th May – Durweston May Fair – Blandford
14th May – South Suffolk Show – Newmarket
31st May – 8th June – TT Races – Isle of Man
10th June – Families Day DMS Whittington- Lichfield
14th June – Downlands School – Blandford
15th June – Garrison Retreat Ceremony – Blandford
17th June – RSA Reunion – Blandford
18th June – RMAS Heritage Day Camberley
24th June – Armed Forces Day – TBC
8th – 9th July – Rempstone Country Fair – Leicestershire
15th July – Colchester Show – Essex
20th July – 22 Signals Regiment Families Day – Stafford
23rd July – Bikewise
11th – 12th August – Shrewsbury Flower Show – Shropshire
24th – 28th August – Great Dorset Steam Fair – Tarrant Hinton
1st – 3rd Sept – Chats worth Country Fair – Derbyshire
9th Sept – Normanton Gala – Yorkshire
16th September- Preston Military Show – Lancashire
30th September – Closing Ceremony – Blandford

Lets give the white helmets the ultimate send off and show them your support because they’re an amazing bunch of lads that have spent the past few years making other people happy with their shows…..

If you also want to show your support please do feel free to sign the petition that someone created to try and stop this decision.. https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/183035

So this blog post is for you ‘White Helmets’ the Royal Signals Motorcycle Display Team. Thank you for 90 years of displays and lots of “oh” and “Ah” moments…

Ode to an Army wife 

​An Army Wife she wears a mask, accepts her role no questions asked. Army quarters we do our best, but boy our patience they do test. They send our soldiers far & wide, but our feelings we learn to hide. We are often lonely,scared & sad & to be honest a little mad. But when the years have all gone by, and we ask ourselves why oh why? We’ve known the answer all along, because it’s in our soldiers arms we belong x x x

Anon 

Week in Bourners world

So it has been a little over a week since I last updated my blog. Lots of things have been happening from uni work to mingling with stars in Bromley…..

The week started with my normal trip to uni where I curse every slow driver and shake my head in desperation at lorries making my travel time even longer… There seems to be a lot of traffic on the road between Blandford and Bournemouth at the moment and especially from 07.30 onwards! If I leave home at 07.30, it takes me until nearly 09.30 to travel 22 miles to Bournemouth! If I leave at 07.00, it takes me until between 07.55 and 08.10 to travel the same distance! Every morning though there is a Nissan micra whose top speed must be 25 MPH and it likes to hold up all the traffic! This one car can cause a 2 mile tail back and they don’t seem to have a care in the world! It grips my shit lol and breathe!

So after abusing a few drivers, I came across this van and I was quite happy to sit behind it…

van

It took the boredom away of being in a traffic jam for 10 minutes anyway…..

So Uni this week was overloading my brain…. I had an assignment due in on Tuesday and this was me towards the end of last week…

face4

I was on the verge of quitting lol..There was so much to do and rather than attack things in little chunks, I was looking at it in huge chunks and thinking OH MY GOD… I am never going to be able to do this, but low and behold, I did manage to do it and I submitted my essay 4 days early, phew.. That is a first for me.. Normally I am panicking at the last-minute…. So now I was more like this:

uni2

So once this essay was handed in, the week was mostly mine and I was looking forward to so much….. I have kept up with one of my goals of keeping fit and every week I join this mad bunch of people in Clubbercise.

clubbercise

This was taken before we started so we all look quite normal in this lol… Give it 10 minutes and once Ricky has started with us we are crawling along the floor….

Last weekend hubby and I celebrated 6 years together so we went away to Bromley for the weekend, I know not the most romantic place, but needs must…

My husband is one of the most amazing and supportive people I know. When he is away and I am down, he sends me crazy pictures like this to cheer me up.

shane-i-love-you

Last weekend wasn’t just about mine and hubbies anniversary… 3 years ago while on honeymoon in Sousse, Tunisia, we met an amazing couple Neil and Sabrina and their son Jake…. One of Neil’s best friends is Fabrizio Santino who played Ziggy Roscoe in Hollyoaks… Well as a big Hollyoaks fan this excited me loads 🙂 A few weeks ago Neil asked if I wanted to meet Fab and I was like “Do you really need to ask”! Silly question really… Not only did I get to meet Fab, I also met some really great people who I will be friends with for life…..

So this weekend we travelled to Bromley and our first stop was El Parasol Tapas in Bromley which is owned by Fab’s uncle and it is a truly amazing place. The staff are so helpful and nothing is too much trouble for them..Sitting with Fab having tapas was a surreal experience… He is a normal, down to earth Londoner who likes a laugh and is definitely a cheeky chappie… It was kind of weird sitting with who I knew as Ziggy Roscoe from Hollyoaks listening to him talk and imagining Leila telling me off for chatting to her husband lol…… After dinner we were then moved into Fab’s new bar next door Bar Rumour where we spent a little while as the only ones in the club, which was an experience.. His bar is lush and very posh, too posh for the likes of dragged up me lol….

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The whole night was amazing… Meeting new friends like Symone and her partner Martin who have the same sense of humour as shane I was brilliant… The night ended up in condiments in packets being launched at each other and just fits of hysterical giggles….

So that has been the past week for me and every day I thank my lucky stars for the amazing people I have in my life, the ones missing and my new friends….

January blues

So if you’re like me then you’re probably suffering with the January blues… It’s that black hole between having geared up for Christmas and now getting ready for spring…. Except mine has been crazy placement time, Christmas, back to uni and now deadline after deadline of assignment work due in… I have an essay due in on the 17th January, another essay due in on the 7th February and then a role play and transcript due in on the 20th/23rd February…. At the same time of being in lectures…. Life is definitely like a rollercoaster at the moment and I cannot get off because I am half way through my nursing and can say that next year I qualify as a mental health nurse…. Plus as one good dear departed friend Della once said “Mel you’re tenacious like a rabid dog” lol… In my terms I am a stubborn old cow …..

At the start of the year I had all these good intentions of being fit and healthy and having a rocking bod! yeah so that has kind of been put to the wayside and it is easier to be snuggled under the cover and eat crap instead 🙂 

So this is where my friends come in… Hubby bought me a fitbit for christmas which I wear every day for my step count etc, but I am lacking in doing much exercise apart from my weekly clubbercise session which I love…… So if you have a fitbit, please do add me and cheer me or taunt me to get me to do some more exercise because god knows I need it to get more energy… Add me here Mel’s fitbit