Put a frog into a vessel fill with water and start heating the water.
As the temperature of the water begins to rise, the frog adjust its body temperature accordingly.
The frog keeps adjusting its body temperature with the increasing temperature of the water. Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog cannot adjust anymore. At this point the frog decides to jump out.
The frog tries to jump but it is unable to do so because it has lost all its strength in adjusting with the rising water temperature.
Very soon the frog dies.
What killed the frog?
Think about it!
I know many of us will say the boiling water. But the truth about what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when to jump out.
We all need to adjust with people & situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust & when we need to move on. There are times when we need to face the situation and take appropriate actions.
If we allow people to exploit us physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually or mentally they will continue to do so.
Let us decide when to jump!
Let’s jump while we still have the strength.
I changed my life at the age of 40… I decided I no longer wanted to be that negative person that allowed people to treat me the way they did, so I changed and I am so much happier for it….
I’m now 45 and I am in my 2nd year of a post graduate diploma in Mental health nursing at Bournemouth university 🎓….
If I can change, so can you… Evaluate your life today and make that change….
So if you’re like me then you’re probably suffering with the January blues… It’s that black hole between having geared up for Christmas and now getting ready for spring…. Except mine has been crazy placement time, Christmas, back to uni and now deadline after deadline of assignment work due in… I have an essay due in on the 17th January, another essay due in on the 7th February and then a role play and transcript due in on the 20th/23rd February…. At the same time of being in lectures…. Life is definitely like a rollercoaster at the moment and I cannot get off because I am half way through my nursing and can say that next year I qualify as a mental health nurse…. Plus as one good dear departed friend Della once said “Mel you’re tenacious like a rabid dog” lol… In my terms I am a stubborn old cow …..
At the start of the year I had all these good intentions of being fit and healthy and having a rocking bod! yeah so that has kind of been put to the wayside and it is easier to be snuggled under the cover and eat crap instead 🙂
So this is where my friends come in… Hubby bought me a fitbit for christmas which I wear every day for my step count etc, but I am lacking in doing much exercise apart from my weekly clubbercise session which I love…… So if you have a fitbit, please do add me and cheer me or taunt me to get me to do some more exercise because god knows I need it to get more energy… Add me here Mel’s fitbit
So it’s been nearly a year since my last post, but I am back and better than ever. So this post is a reflection on what has happened over the past 12 months and what my plans are for 2017..
The last time I posted I was on my first placement of my mental health student nurse journey… Since that placement I have done 2 more and I can now say that I qualify next year in 2018 🙂 I am really proud of myself because I have come a long way to where I am today.. Someone who is more confident and more positive and much more of a fighter…. I tell myself everyday how lucky I am to be a student mental health nurse and how privileged I am to be involved in the care of the patients I work with, especially when they are in the acute phase of their illness.
So this past year has had many highs and some lows…. I often wanted to quit my nursing degree because I am not academic at all, even now while I am writing this it is a distraction from the essay that is waiting for me with a due date in 10 days time! I am the world’s best procrastinator…. If there was an olympic sport I would excel in it….
So where is the best place to start? I’ll start with how it all started…..
In January 2011 I started dating a 22 year old. I never thought it would get serious, I mean come on I was 39 years old! What would a 22 year old soldier want with an old hag like me? I had just come out of a long term relationship and I was a single mum to 4 amazing children and I didn’t have the energy to deal with another person in my life at the moment, so I thought I would have some fun. For those not accustomed to the term, we had a “Friends with benefits” 🙂 relationship… Only thing was, was we fell in love!
I remember discussing with a good friend that I had fallen in love and what should I do because he was 17 years younger than me… That good friend told me to go with it and just enjoy it… She said even if we just had 5 years, it would be 5 years of fun I wouldn’t of had if I had walked away…..
I took that advice and this month we have been together 6 years and this July we will be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary… Times haven’t always been easy, this life is no picnic in the woods or walk in the park and there have been times where I have really wondered why I was married to a soldier, especially when they miss your birthday or you cannot go home for christmas because they are working, but I know I wouldn’t change it for the world and I am glad I took that leap…
Being an army wife can sometimes be a lonely existence. When you move onto a camp you start making friends and then their husbands get posted and they move again, but when you make friends with a forces wife, you make friends forever. This year I went to my first ever wives christmas function with a good friend Danni… What an amazing night and an amazing friend I have in Danni.. Spending New Years Eve with Danni and her family and friends was awesome… I even learnt new German words! some not fit for public consumption I might add…
I am also lucky to have one of my children living on camp which means I get to see him a lot too even though most of the time it is when he is doing dangerous stunts as he is part of the White Helmets who the army motorcycle display team.
So what has the past year been like for me? I have had some exciting times like going to Fuerteventura in March, Antalya in October and a girls weekend away to Weymouth in October which meant I got to see friends that live in my hometown and that I don’t get to see very often…. I have lows like missing my children and also failing an assignment which saw me having to wait until 3 days before the start of the new term to see if I was going into year 2, but all in all this past year has been a pretty good year and I am looking forward to 2017 and what it has in store for me….
So let’s start showing you my last year, not just in words, but in pictures…..
My dogs are such a huge part of my life. Ted the turd is a mummies boy and follows me like a turd on a string, everywhere I go. Isobel bitch bag used to be a mummies girl, but now as soon as daddy comes home she is off like some floozy traitor lol… They have such amazing personalities. If they were humna, Ted would be a london gangster and Isobel would be a parisian princess who daren’t get her paws dirty or wet…When the hubby is away, they are the ones waiting for me when I get home with their tails wagging…. Even now, Ted is laying on the sofa watching my every move….
So we all know about honey G, but I bet you didn’t know that our family has its own Honey G aka Minge Kennett my mother in law! When the Kennett’s and Bourner’s get together it’s a crazy time like the time in Turkey (2016) when we crammed into a lift and my brother in law Reece wanted to take a photo or when we went to a Halloween party, with the below being the end result 🙂
I am not normally a bling person, but when your husband takes you into the local Pandora shop and tells you to pick anything you like, well I am going to go for something that stands out as it’s my first ever piece of Pandora…. However I am still a shrewd person and went for the cheapest one possible….
Being able to afford things sometimes is a novelty for me… I’ve never had money and always had to scrape by… There were times in my life that I went hungry so that my children could eat.. Something that I have only told people recently because they preferred to believe other things about me rather than ask me the truth… You see, when you’re down and don’t have enough money or need help, i’ll be there and would give you my last penny to help you.. Which is why, when I got the chance to help the homeless this christmas in Dorset I jumped at it. The best way to make you appreciate what you have , however little, is to visit and work with those who have nothing and yet are more happier than those who have everything. One of the people who were homeless had made a christmas tree out of tin foil and used scraps of tinsel to make it look better… He had made his home in an underground car park out of sight of people. When we gave him a christmas present he cried…He couldn’t believe that people were being so nice to him.
My in laws also do their bit for charity, but due to husbands work and my student nurse placements, we were only able to appreciate this from Christmas eve until Boxing day before we had to come back to Dorset… Every year my inlaws and others in Westfield, Hastings, East sussex, put christmas lights up to raise money for St Michaels Hospice in Hastings. This year everyone involved raised £11,642.61
So people that know me, know I love scenery and love living in Dorset. On my last placement at St Ann’s I used to walk down the hill to this view at Sandbanks. This photo was taken in November!… What a truly amazing place to live in…
Hubby and I love walking the dogs exploring Dorset. On a recent trip to Wareham forest, we came across this christmas tree in the forest all decorated.
Over the recent bank holiday Hubby and I decided to finally visit Durdle door. If you type Dorset into google, then the image it shows is Durdle door. I am so lucky to be able to live near such beautiful places! I truly feel blessed.
Hubby even got me to walk up this hill, well I say walk, I crawled on all fours because I am scared of heights. It doesn’t look high and is very deceiving until you get to the top and see the other side that is like a sheer drop into the water, well that was me done! I just sat there like a crow and waited for hubby to do what he needed to do up there and then with legs like jelly, descended back down to civilisation….
Once down we walked along the gorgeous beach. The water was so crystal clear…. The photo below of my wellies is actually me standing in the sea….
Through the years I have changed a lot and the below photo’s show just how much.
So what does 2017 have in store for me? Since starting my Post graduate diploma in Mental Health Nursing, I have found confidence and opened my eyes to lots of other things so this year my goals are:
- To get fit – I have already started by going to Clubbercise every friday night in Poole. It’s like going clubbing as you get glow sticks and the lights are turned off and all your favourite 90’s music like Children by Robert Miles, Call on me by Eric Prydz etc are played while you do aerobic exercise. The only thing missing is the bottle of bud 🙂 I am even toying with joining Ricky’s class for Insanity at the end of the month… .One step at a time
- To stop procrastinating and to start on my assignments as soon as I get them… I have always found academic work hard… All the theory gets me down… The trouble is understanding what is required of me… Once I understand it, I can do it to an extent…. Give me placements any day, I love them and my grades for placements show just how much I learn while I am there…. I am determined to I will pass and be a mental health nurse in 2018!
- To teach myself French… I bought the kit a few years ago and have never used it… It is time to start and to teach myself French…..
- To teach myself British Sign Language…. I started this a few years ago and never finished so now it is time to start this again and by the end of this year I will be able to hold a conversation..
- To do the jar challenges
So that’s been my past year and also my next year’s goals…. What does 2017 have in store for you?
This week I have seen lots of stories about being a RAKtivist and wondered what this was about. On their website Random Acts Of Kindness they define a RAKtivist as
RAKtivists are an extraordinary class of kind do-er’s. They truly believe that kindness can change the world and exemplify that in their day-to-day lives.
To me acts of kindness can be simple things such as saying hello to someone who walks past you, to helping someone with their shopping. Did you know that when you say hello to a random stranger in the street, you could be the only person that has spoken to them in weeks and by saying a simple hello, you are making them smile and they might not feel so alone.
I remember when I had my interview for my university place and they asked me why I wanted to be a nurse and I had flashbacks to the forums I had been on asking what things would I be asked in my interview. One of the main things they said was don’t say “Because you care or want to look after people” as this is not what they are looking for. However, when it came to the question, my response was exactly that. Why else would I want to be a nurse, it’s because I care about people and because I want to look after them. This is the same with RAK’s, it’s because you know that your one simple act could have a profound effect on someone.
Did you know that according to Age UK, over a million older people go over a month without seeing anyone. That’s like solitary confinement. Could you imagine going to bed each night wondering if tomorrow you will see someone. When I was working for BT as a 100/999 operator in my very younger days, about a third of the callers would be those who had no-one else to talk to. They knew that if they called us, that we wouldn’t put the phone down and could sometimes be on the telephone for over an hour, but I didn’t mind because to me they were like my nan and they sounded so lonely.
Whenever I go shopping on my own, because if I go with my husband he gets impatient, I will say hello to as many people as possible, or if people look lost I will try and strike up a conversation. At times I get odd looks, but hey, who cares, as long as the person i’m talking to is ok and happy then i’m happy. My husband hates it and quite often tells me that “You chat shit”. I can talk for England and I do love to talk 🙂
Of course RAK’s are not always just about the person you are doing them for. I think I would be lying if I didn’t admit that when I do a RAK, I feel awesome, is that wrong? I only think it’s wrong if your RAK is more about making you feel good and not the actual act itself. It’s like the 3 laws, if you do something for personal gain then it will come back threefold in a negative way.
So what will your first RAK be? My first RAK of 2016 is going to be delivering some hats and blankets to the local Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Poole Hospital. Over the christmas period I have knitted and crocheted Blankets and premature baby hats.
My reason for doing this is because my daughter was born at 25 weeks gestation weighing 1lb 9oz.
My husband and I will be going over to Poole hospital in the next few days with the hats and blankets. With the blankets the best thing to do is to put the blanket next to the mother’s skin for 24 hours and then use on the baby, that way the baby will have the mother’s smell.
So what will be your first RAK of 2016? Click HERE to find out more information about being a RAKtivist or to apply.